I Rage Over Racism!

***CAUTION SPOILERS IN THE LINK (but does that really matter?) ALSO SOME STRONG LANGUAGE IN POST***
Really? Rreeeaalllyyyy? Racism still has such a hold on us as a human race? Racism from fans of Hunger Games: http://t.co/pgOvWGAn”
We are all Fucking human, people  whether we were all created in gods image or from the same pool of muck, we are all human.
Religion, culture, and politics keep fucking us up! Nature and science won’t kill us, we will kill us.
#ignoranceissuicideofourselves
I don’t normally succumb to anger and rage easily, but this shit has my blood boiling!! Worst part is that most won’t think it’s that big and try to explain it away.
#Imagine

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Valentines Day?

First I want to say that I do not mean to belittle the idea of Valentines Day in any way. All I know is that when I see hundreds of men circling around a small flower shop in the train station something is weird. For one that little flower shop has barely a few dandelions on any other day and
second there really were hundreds of men. I don’t know what this says about us as a people. Are we that indoctrinated with holidays that we must or else? Or is it that as a whole we have forgotten that relationships need more then just one day of watering? Granted most of the guys I saw were probably those guys who are gone twelve hours a day and six days a week, but isn’t that another issue? Must we really work that much to live? Now I do not speak from the opinion of a single lonely guy, but I am very happily married. Once again I don’t want to belittle Valentines nor am I saying don’t celebrate. What I am saying is remember that Valentines means to remember the love that you have had last year and the love you will continue to have this year. Woman love attention, just not from only one day a year. The same goes for guys. We like a little attention also and I’m not just talking about sex, if that was absolutely all we wanted, we wouldn’t have married you and stayed with. With the ones just dating it could be just that but try to make it more. There’s more to life then physical pleasure. Snootch to the nootch (copyright Kevin Smith…just the snootch to the nootch, everything else is said by me and uploaded so it’s kinda sorta maybe copyrighted also… (.)(.)…big eyes…!)

Posted from WordPress for Android

To Blog Or Not To Blog..

Is that the question? It has been many months since I’ve posted anything. Mostly cause of how busy life gets. But mostly because it has seem like this blog is mostly for me. Like a digital journal that is in the cloud. Which I have always sucked at keeping journals. I’ve never felt my life was exciting enough or even the most unexciting, to take note of everyday. Hell even once a month seem like a chore. Maybe if I was a teen doctor it would be easier. Damn that sounds like a lot of work.
Well now for the info part. I am on the train heading to Chicago for another long day at school. And I am using the wordpress app on my phone. Gotta love technology. I know I do.

-mannitt

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A Short Story — “Bath Tub”

A short story that I wrote quickly on Friday.

I have read through it a couple of times and have changed and edited it a little, but the whole story, concept and everything is the same. I just mainly made grammar and language changes. I’m sure there are still some mistakes in there, but I wanted to get it up before the weekend ended. Enjoy it if you can.

“Bath Tub”

Bath Tub

Jim walks into a bar. No, this isn’t a joke. He’s at the bar to look for a good time. It’s Friday night and all he wants is to get fucked up. Not a little drunk, not just drunk, not even faded, but he wants to get Fucked Up!

The week has been hard. He’s walked a very small tight rope at work all week. His girlfriend just came clean about her vacation, that’s another story in itself. So all he wants is to drown his cares in as much alcohol as his credit card, or body will allow.

Jim didn’t call any friends to see if they wanted to join him. He doesn’t have a death wish. He just feels like he needs a little excitement or distraction. Either will work just fine. Some would say he’s depressed. Some would say he should think before he acts. Well some ain’t him, are they?

He walks to the bar and speaks as clearly as he can.

“Give me a bottle of Jack.”

The bartender looks at him quizzically. It is loud tonight. Apparently he’s come on the night that the bar decided to try out a live band. They weren’t that great either. Imagine Rolling Stones mixed with Smashing Pumpkins, Nirvana, and monkeys with instruments.

“I said a bottle of Jack.” Jim said.

“You want a shot?” The bartender asked.

“No just a bottle of Jack.”

“This isn’t a liquor store bro.”

Bro? He said bro. What time loop did I enter? Only assholes and surfers say bro. Jim said to himself wanting to drink even more.

“Fine. A Jack and Coke, no Coke.”

The bartender gave him that look that a lot of liquor jockeys give people when they ask for alcohol and say, keep it coming. That look that says, your life is screwed and I’m gonna make a lot of money tonight, and then call the cops for your drunk ass. The bartender hands Jim a small glass of Jack.

The next morning Jim opens his eyes. His first thought is, why did I get that job? Jim stands up.

(This isn’t quite a Hangover movie type story, but it’s what I would call an homage.)

Jim rubs his eyes and walks in the direction he had always gone to use the bathroom. While he rubs his eyes he notices a chill. He looks down and he’s naked. That’s also when he notices that he is not in his apartment. Nothing looks familiar at all. He could honestly say that he had never seen this place. He turns around takes a look at where he was lying down. It isn’t a bed. It is a blanket, on a couch cushion, on a board, on couple milk crates. (Does everyone still remember milk crates?) Jim shutters. There is a liquid on the blanket that is unrecognizable and a little man (i.e. little person, midget, dwarf…) lying on the floor next to the bed, like setup, also naked. Jim suddenly feels sick. He pukes on the already stained unpadded carpet and almost pees on it. He struggles to stay standing; feeling like his life is draining through his vomit.

Jim wakes up again. He’s lying on the floor, still naked.

“Shit! I must’ve passed out. This wasn’t the type of excitement I was talking about.”

Jim stands up and runs around the room looking for his clothes, for any clothes at all. The little man turns on his side. Jim notices some shorts lying under the little man’s ass. They are his shorts. Jim almost pukes again but reached for the shorts. He tugs at the shorts and the little man rolls on to his stomach releasing the shorts. Not even thinking twice, Jim puts the shorts on. He tries to look for any other clothes, but not finding any he decides it is time to get out of this terrible room.

To think, when Jim was a child, if he woke up with a little man in his room, he probably would have been the happiest little boy ever. Well as long as he had clothes on. As long as they both had clothes on. Jim walks out the only door he sees.

Walking toward a set of stairs, Jim sees more vomit inducing sights. Right outside the door way of the room, with the little man, is what appears to be an adult diaper. It appears to be used. In the doorway of the next room sits a strange box with foreign letters written on it. It’s not the foreign letter that’s strange, but the fact that half the box seems to made of some sort of silicon type substance and a decapitated doll head, half bald and half with hair and with no nose, sits on top of it. The smells in the hallway alone are strong enough and pungent enough to cause a death causing vomit attack, but Jim pushes through the urge. The doorway just before the stairs is the bathroom. As horrid as this place has been so far, the bathroom is eerily spotless. Jim walks in the bathroom and is surprised that the smell in the bathroom is amazing. For the first time since he puked, he didn’t feel like puking. Jim shuts the door and relieves himself.

Jim opens the door and is hit by the horrendous smell of the hallway. He now feels better at least physically, so it’s easier for him to hold back the vomit. He starts to head down the stairs when he hears voices from downstairs.

“Where’s the bro you brought home last night?” A guy’s voice asks.

“He’s upstairs with Ro.” A girl voice replies.

“Why did you bring him here?” The guy asks.

“He said he wanted to. His life is shit right now and he wanted to just get away from it.” The girl said.

“We don’t have room for anymore. If his mind wasn’t so screwed up, he wouldn’t even be able to be here.”

“Isn’t that what it’s for?” The girl asked.

“But we don’t know if he can. He might mess it up for the rest of us.” The guy responded angrily.

“If he can’t, then why the hell would we be able to?” The girl asked confused.

“Only a few people, that was the deal.”

“That’s all we have.”

Jim stands at the top of the stairs trying to listen to every word and attempting to see the people speaking. He steps down one more step to try to hear better and maybe see them. The step creaks.

The guy and girl look up toward the stairs.

“What the hell was that?” The girl asks and walks toward the stairs.

Jim moves back up into the hallway. He walks quickly into the bathroom and steps into the bath tub.

“Why am I here? What are they talking about? What can I, or can’t I do? Why am I asking myself? I don’t know any of these things. Only they do. So why did I run in here? I don’t think they want to kill me, but yet I’m scared retarded.” Jim talks out loud to himself.

“Why am I talking out loud? If I’m scared won’t they hear me?” Jim still talking to himself.

Jim hears creaking noises.

“Oh shit their coming. Shut up asshole. Why can’t you stop talking out loud?”

The noises stop.

“What was it?” The guy yells from downstairs.

“I don’t know. I don’t see anything. I’m gonna check on Ro and the guy.” The girl replies from right outside the bathroom.

Oh shit! She’s gonna see that I’m not in there. Jim says to himself finally. He moves the shower curtain in the bath tub and peeks out toward doorway. He catches a glimpse of the girl walking by. She is naked. Jim steps out of the bath tub and his foot bumps something sticking out of the wall in the bath tub. A bright light starts to form in the bath tub. Slowly a sound like none other that Jim has heard before, also starts to come out of the growing light. At first he is scared, but the bigger that the light gets and the louder the sound gets, the more calm he gets. Jim stands outside the bath tub staring at the continuous growing light. He hears a voice in his head telling him to take off his shorts. Jim takes off his short and walks toward the light.

The guy and girl hear the unknown sound. The girl runs back toward the bathroom. The guy runs upstairs. They both get to the bathroom doorway at the same time. They see Jim stepping into the bath tub with a growing light inside it. The noise gets almost deafening. Jim turns and sees the guy and girl standing in the doorway. He recognizes the girl from last night.

The girl is some chick that he met at the bar. She said she had had a terrible week as well. She caught her boyfriend having sex with her sister and mother at the same time in their apartment. Her boss told her that she was being fired, but if she moved in with him and promised to be his sex slave, she would never have to worry about anything again. She had thought about killing herself but she met this guy who helped her through her problems. Kind of like a therapist or something. That dude was standing next to her, also naked.

The girl introduced Jim to the guy after they had exchanged their terrible week stories. The guy didn’t seem as interested in Jim as the girl was. He said he wasn’t a therapist but he had something that helped the girl through her problems. He left not long after that, but Jim and the girl kept talking and drinking together.

Sandra and Nolan, that’s their names. Jim remembered to himself. They brought me here, and I think for this. The sound stopped for one second and Jim said to Sandra and Nolan.

“Thank you.”

Jim steps into the light, he feels his body melt away, but not painful. The sound surrounds him at a deafening ear bleeding kind of level, but that doesn’t hurt either. Then the sound the light and all feeling stops and Jim hears a voice.

“No more.”

Sandra and Nolan are standing in the bathroom doorway. The light and the sounds are gone and so is Jim.

“Great! Now we have to wait. Dammitt Sandra!” Nolan yells and walks out of the doorway.

“No more.” Says Sandra, then walks toward the stairs.

© Jeffrey Hale

http://mannitt.com/

http://twitter.com/mannitt

Enter The Sandman

Enter the Sandman  Enter the sandman

A writing exercise

I actually forgot about the Metallica song until after I finished writing.

Enjoy…

Enter the Sandman…

I think I would like to see what he will do…

But if I don’t see…

I don’t know what he will do.

That may seem simple…

Tell that to someone without sight.

To see what the difference is…

Ah… But I will never know.

© Jeffrey Hale

An Untitled Simpsons Episode–that I’m working on

Below is and untitled episode of Simpsons I am working on. This is for fun. I am not employed by the people at The Simpsons, that’d be cool if I was, but this is not licensed from them. This is an idea I have had for a month or so now. Most of it came from Kevin Smith saying he would absolutely love to be on an episode of The Simpsons. I am not able to actually make that happen, but I do think I can attempt a decent teleplay for how an episode with him on there should be, in this moment of time. So in three to five years this teleplay may not work. I am not finished and below is not even all that I do have done. I just wanted to get a small taste out there to see what anyone might think. So here it goes.

The Simpsons is of course © of Fox and Matt Groening and all that other legal stuff. So this is just for fun.

Please read what you can. This is not the full teleplay, but I ended up including a lot. Thanks.

(insert Kevin Smith as a Simpsons Character.)

(I haven’t gotten around to drawing that yet, so for now, use your imagination. I know that’s a lot to ask.)

                                Untitled Simpson Episode

                                           by

                                      Jeffrey Hale

                                          ACT ONE

               FADE IN:

               INT. AIRPLANE - COACH                          SCENE 1 

               Homer is walking through the aisle of the plane and bumping
               people with his bag.

                                      HOMER

                         Sorry. Sorry. Oops sorry. Sorry.
               Homer finds his seat and sits down. Homer struggles to get
               in his seat pulling the arm rest up. He breathes in deep and
               wiggles his ass into the seat. Then he pushes the arm rest
               on top of his flap which is hanging over the seat. Bart runs
               through the aisle and sits in the seat next to Homer, also
               sitting on the flap of fat on the seat. 

                                      HOMER (CONT'D)

                                         (SCREAMS)

                         Why you little!
               Homer grabs Bart by his throat and starts choking him

                                      BART

                           (WHILE MAKING CHOKING NOISES)

                         I didn't mean to.
               Bart flips the latch holding the tray table and it drops on
               Homer's legs. It startles Homer.

               Homer screams.
               Homer lets go of Bart's throat. Bart runs away down the
               aisle into the first class section.
               Homer readjusts himself in the seat, putting the tray table
               back up. He pulls an MP3 player out, puts ear phones in and
               starts the player.

                                      KEVIN SMITH

                                 (THROUGH THE EARPHONES.)

                         Welcome to Hollywood Babble on. I'm

                         Kevin Smith.

               INT. AIRPLANE - FIRST CLASS                      SCENE 2
               Bart walks through the bigger aisle of first class. As he
               goes from seat to seat he looks at each person.

                                      BART

                         Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody.
               Bart reaches the end of first class. He turns around and
               looks toward the exit.

                                      BART (CONT'D)

                         I guess that shows that no one of

                         interest ever comes to Springfield.

               INT. AIRPLANE - COACH                            SCENE 3
               Homer is looking through the sky mall magazine.

                                      HOMER

                                   (AT EVERY PAGE)

                         Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.
               He turns the page to a chair in the shape of a doughnut with
               pink frosting and sprinkles. The hole of the doughnut is
               where you sit down. It's advertised as a doughnut shaped
               gaming chair.

                                      HOMER (CONT'D)

                         MMMMM…doughnut…

               He opens his mouth, sticks his tongue out to the side, and
               drools.

               A flight attendant walks up to Homer while he is still
               drooling.

                                      FLIGHT ATTENDANT

                         Excuse me sir. Could you come with me

                         for quick minute?

               Homer looks at the flight attendant.

                                      HOMER

                         Where are we going?

                                      FLIGHT ATTENDANT

                         I just need you to step over here for a

                         minute.

               The flight attendant points to the door of the plane.

               Homer gets up and follows the flight attendant over to the
               door of the plane.

                                      FLIGHT ATTENDANT (CONT'D)

                         I'm sorry sir, but I need you to leave

                         the plane.

                                      HOMER

                                     (CONFUSED)

                         What..what..what did I do?

               The flight attendant points toward door of the plane.

                                      FLIGHT ATTENDANT

                         You didn't do anything. I just need you

                         to leave the plane.

               Homer walks out the door toward the entrance of the
               terminal.

                                      HOMER                                  

                         But what about my bag? The boy? We were

                         just going to Comic Con. 

                                      FLIGHT ATTENDANT

                         I will get your bag and your child.

               Homer reaches the end of the terminal.

                                      HOMER

                                      (Yells)

                         I don't care about the boy. I just

                         don't want him to go without me.

               INT. AIRPORT - TERMINAL #15                    SCENE 4

               Homer stands in front of the desk of the terminal. On the
               desk it says WestNorth Airlines "We Get You Where You Need
               To Go Cheaply".

                                      HOMER

                         I don't understand why I had to leave. 

                                      WESTNORTH EMPLOYEE

                         Sir we just had concerns about you

                         flying.

                                      HOMER

                         Was it my MP3 player? I would have shut

                         it off before we took off. There were

                         others on their laptop.

                                      WESTNORTH EMPLOYEE

                         It wasn't the MP3 player sir. We will

                         do what we can to help with this

                         flight.

                         We just need that the next time you fly

                         WestNorth Airlines, that you buy two

                         seats.

                                      HOMER

                         I did buy two seats, one for me and one

                         for the boy.

                                      WESTNORTH EMPLOYEE

                         You will need to buy two seats for

                         yourself.

                                      HOMER

                         Well that's just stupid. I can't sit in

                         two seats at the same time.

               Homer lifts his head and a thought bubble forms above his
               head. In the thought bubble there are two airplane seats.
               Homer in the thought bubble walks in and sits right in the
               middle of the two seats. The arm of one stabs him in the
               back. As the thought bubble Homer screams, the chairs turn
               into the doughnut chair. Homer stops screaming and takes a
               bite out of the chair.

               Zoom back out to Homer standing in front of the WestNorth
               desk.

                                      HOMER (CONT'D)

                         Mmmm…chair…mmmmm.

                                      WESTNORTH EMPLOYEE

                         I'm sorry sir.

               The WestNorth Employee hands Homer a bunch of papers.

                                      WESTNORTH EMPLOYEE (CONT'D)

                         If you have any complaints, just send

                         them to the customer support.

                         The telephone number, email, and

                         twitter account is all on that paper.

                         As is the privacy policy for using

                         WestNorth Airlines. Thank you sir and

                         have a good day.

               Homer turns away from the WestNorth Employee and beside him
               is Bart with his bag and Homers bag.

                                      BART

                         So what the hell Homer? Why did we get

                         kicked off the plane? I only flushed

                         two army man down the toilet and only

                         harassed Bumble Bee man.

                                      HOMER

                         I don't know.

                                      BART

                         Maybe you're too fat to fly.

                                      HOMER

                         Why you little!

               Homer grabs Bart by the throat and starts choking him.

                                      BART 

               (While making choking noises)

                         It happened to Kevin Smith. Don't you

                         remember.

               Homer stops choking Bart.

                                      BART (CONT'D)

                                  (CATCHING HIS BREATH.)

                         I told you not to take WestNorth.

                                      HOMER

                         But they were so cheap.

                                                         FADE OUT.

                                     END OF ACT ONE

                                         ACT TWO

               FADE IN:

               INT. SIMPSON HOUSE - DOORWAY                 SCENE 5
               Homer runs through the doorway with Bart following him.
               Marge and Lisa are in the living room.
               Marge is vacuuming the curtains. Lisa is reading a book on
               the floor.
               Homer runs into the living room.

               INT. SIMPSON HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

                                      MARGE

                         What are you doing here Homer?

                                      HOMER

                                (FAST AND EXCITEDLY)

                         I got kicked off the plane and I don't

                         know why. It didn't seem to be the

                         boy's fault and

                               (HOMER TAKES A BREATH)

                         I really wanted to..

                                       (WHINING) 

                         go to comic con.

                                      MARGE

                         What did you do?

                                      HOMER

                         I didn't do anything.

                                      LISA

                         They had to have some reason to kick

                         you off.

                                      BART

                         He's too fat to fly.
               Homer runs at Bart and puts his hands around Bart's neck.

                                      HOMER

                         Why you little!

                                      MARGE

                         Homer stop!
               Homer looks at Marge before he starts to choke Bart

                                      MARGE (CONT'D)

                         Let go of him. You have gained some

                         extra weight the last month and I've

                         heard that plane companies are really

                         cracking down on the heftier customers.
               Homer still has his hands around Bart's neck.

                                      HOMER

                                      (WHINING)

                         But Marge, that's not fair. 

                                   (SERIOUS TONE) 

                         Just because I have a few extra pounds

                         doesn't mean that I shouldn't be able

                         to fly. It's not like my extra weight

                         will bring the plane.

                                      BART

                         Actually Homer you do weigh the same as

                         a small plane.

                                      HOMER

                         Why you little!
               Homer starts to choke Bart.
               Marge grabs a broom and uses the handle to separate Homer
               hands from Bart's throat.
               Homer sits down on the couch and pouts.

                                      HOMER (CONT'D)

                         I guess I will never get to meet Kevin

                         Smith and Frank Garmy. I love that

                         Garmy dude. He does so many good

                         voices.

                                      (EXCITED) 

                         Like there was this one time this dude

                         asked him to help him get his wife to

                         give up her…

                                      MARGE

                         Ok! Well why don't you try another way

                         to get to Comic Con?

                                      BART

                         What about Mr. Burns? He has a personal

                         jet.

                                      HOMER

                         Aww, but then he will know why I quit.

                                      MARGE

                         You quit? You said you took vacation

                         time.

                                      HOMER

                         I told you that so you wouldn't get mad

                         and tell me I couldn't go.
               Marge rolls her eyes.

                                      MARGE 

                         HHMMMM.
               Homer grabs Bart.

                                      HOMER

                         Come on boy. We are going to see the

                         boss.

               INT. SIMPSONS HOUSE - DOORWAY

                                      BART

                         We're going to see Bruce Springstein?

               INT. RADIATION PLANT - MR. BURNS OFFICE       SCENE 6
               Homer and Bart stand in front of Mr. Burns' desk with Burns
               sitting behind it and Smithers standing next to him.

                                      MR. BURNS

                         Let me get this straight. You want me

                         to let you borrow my jet to go

                         to…(pause)

                                      MR. SMITHERS

                         Comic Con sir.

                                      MR. BURNS

                         Ah yes, Comic Con. Tell me Mr. Smithers

                         does this Mister (pause)

                                      MR. SMITHERS

                         Simpson sir, Homer Simpson.

                                      MR. BURNS

                         Simpson, eh. Does Simpson work for me?

                                      MR. SMITHERS

                         Well he did sir, in sector 4G, but he

                         quit this morning.

                                      MR. BURNS

                         He quit?

                                      MR. SMITHERS

                         Yes sir.

                                      MR. BURNS

                         Did he say why?

                                      MR. SMITHERS

                         No sir.

                                      MR. BURNS

                         Well I'll tell you what I'm going to do

                         Simpson. I like your guts. It took guts

                         to quit and then ask to use my jet.
               Mr. Burns throws Homer a key.

                                      MR. BURNS (CONT'D)

                         So use my jet to go to this Comic Con,

                         but first thing Monday morning you

                         better be here on time and no more

                         quitting.

                                      HOMER

                         Thank you sir.
               Homer grabs Bart and run out of the office.

                                      MR. SMITHERS

                         But sir?

                                      MR. BURNS

                         I've decided Smithers. He doesn't get

                         any longer then Monday.

                                      MR. SMITHERS

                         But sir, should we really let him keep

                         his job.

                                      MR. BURNS

                         You just don't understand Smithers. I

                         see me in that man. What was his name

                         again?

                                      MR. SMITHERS

                         Homer Simpson sir.

                                      MR. BURNS

                         Simpson eh. (beat) Well I'm spent

                         Smithers. I want to take a nap. Now

                         leave me and don't screw something up.

                                      MR. SMITHERS

                         Do you want me to tell you a story sir?

                                      MR. BURNS

                         I'm not a child Smithers. Now get me my

                         teddy.

                                      MR. SMITHERS

                         Yes sir.

               INT. AIRPLANE HANGAR
               Homer and Bart stand outside Mr. Burns jet. On the side of
               the jet there's a picture of Mr. Burns, and the words
               "Burns' World" below the picture.

                                      BART

                         So where's the pilot?

                                      HOMER

                         We don't need no stinking pilot. Plus I

                         have one right here.
               Homer pulls a pen out of his shirt pocket and moves the pen
               around as if it is flying and making car like noises.

                                      BART

                         Seriously Homer. You can't fly the

                         plane.

                                      HOMER

                         I went to space.

                                      BART

                         But you didn't fly it.
               A guy walks by Homer and Bart.

                                      BART (CONT'D)

                         Hey you!

                                      PILOT

                         Yes?

                                      BART

                         You a pilot?

                                      PILOT

                         Yes.

                                      BART

                         He's flying Homer.

                                      HOMER

                                   (WHINING)

                         But I wanted to fly.

                                      BART

                         Homer give him the keys.

                                      HOMER

                                   (WHINY)

                         Ah, you're no fun.
               Homer throws the key to the Pilot.

                                      HOMER (CONT'D)

                         Take us to Comic Con.

                                      PILOT

                         Yes sir.
               The pilot opens the door to the plane. Homer, Bart, and the
               Pilot walk inside.

               EXT. AIRPORT
               The plane takes off.

               EXT. COMIC CON BUILDING                      SCENE 7

                                      HOMER

                         We finally made it boy.

                                      BART

                         Yeah, but what about the alien?

                                      HOMER

                         He can get his own ticket. I don't care

                         if he can bring a bird back to life.

               Homer and Bart walk toward the building.

               INT. COMIC CON                               SCENE 8

               Homer and Bart walk through the doors for comic con. They
               pass two Spock's, five Slave Princess Leia's and one
               Zoidberg.

                                      HOMER

                         Dammit! I knew I forgot something.

               INT. SIMPSONS HOUSE
               Lying on Homer's bed is a Princess Leia white dress costume.
               Next to the costume, Maggie is sitting on the bed with the
               hair buns on her head.

               INT. COMIC CON
               Homer walks up to a guy in a Luke Skywalker costume.

                                      HOMER

                         Hey, you remember when I saved you from

                         the nerds?
               All noise in the building stops and everyone looks at Homer.

                                      HOMER (CONT'D)

                         Heh. I love nerds. Go dark side.
               The Luke Skywalker nerd points a green lightsaber replica at
               Homer

                                      LUKE SKYWALKER NERD

                         I hope that you do not support the dark

                         side. My father died because of the

                         dark side.

                                      HOMER

                         Nooooo!!
               The Luke Skywalker nerd jumps back. Homer runs over to a
               kiosk and grabs a Statue of Liberty model from the Planet of
               the Apes

                                      HOMER (CONT'D)

                                        (YELLING)

                         You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn

                         you! God damn you all to hell!                                      
                                    LUKE SKYWALKER NERD                         
                         What a nerd.

               Everybody goes back to what they were doing before Homer
               spoke to the Luke Skywalker nerd.
©mannitt